S2 E1: Before the Bump: An Intro to Preconception Health and TTC (#36)
Summary
Taylor Rae hosts the first episode of 'On the Outside' focusing on preconception health and trying to conceive (TTC). Taylor introduces preconception health as the overall health of a person before pregnancy, encompassing physical, mental, and reproductive aspects. She outlines the episode's structure, mentioning it's the first of 10 episodes diving into various pregnancy-related topics. Taylor shares her personal experience, describing how she spent two years tracking her cycle after stopping hormonal birth control. She discusses attending couples therapy with her husband, Richard, and experiencing significant emotional challenges, including fears about body changes and balancing responsibilities. The host emphasizes the importance of understanding cycles and fertility. She discusses environmental factors, including harmful exposures and lifestyle modifications needed for both partners. Taylor stresses the male partner's role in preconception health. She concludes by emphasizing the importance of emotional and mental preparation, including having honest conversations with partners about fears and concerns.
KEY MOMENTS
Introduction to Preconception Health - 00:00:07: Taylor Rae introduces preconception health as the health before pregnancy, covering physical, mental, and reproductive aspects. She outlines the episode's structure and mentions it's part of a 10-episode season.
Personal Journey and Experience - 00:01:57: Taylor shares her personal preconception journey, including stopping birth control, experiencing hormonal acne, and attending couples therapy with her husband Richard. She describes emotional challenges and fears about pregnancy and parenthood.
Statistics and Basic Information on TTC 00:08:47: Taylor presents key statistics: 30% conceive within one month, 85% within one year, and 12-15% of couples unable to conceive after one year. She discusses age-related fertility decline, noting 37 as a significant threshold.
Environmental and Lifestyle Factors 00:29:22: Taylor discusses environmental toxins, including BPAs, phthalates, and parabens. She emphasizes the importance of making lifestyle changes and avoiding harmful exposures in household products and personal care items.
Male Partner's Role in Preconception 00:38:31: Taylor emphasizes the importance of male partner involvement, discussing sperm health, regeneration cycle, and lifestyle modifications needed for optimal fertility.
TRANSCRIPTION
Welcome back. My name is Taylor Rae, and this is On the Outside. In today's episode, we talk about preconception health and touch on trying to conceive or TTC. Preconception health is the health of a person before becoming pregnant, and includes things like physical, mental, and reproductive health.
In this episode, I will discuss why preconception health is important and what it even is, some basic statistics on trying to conceive, key areas to consider and adjust in your life if you're trying to improve your preconception health, understanding your cycle and fertility so important, your male partner's role in preconception health, emotional and mental preparation, ugh, so good, so key.
This is just the first of 10 episodes in this season, where I'll be deep diving into several of these topics in their own episode. Today is just an initial overview. There's so much information out there, so my goal is to synthesize it as much as possible so that you don't have to do all of the reading and research that I did.
Trust me, it was a lot. Next week, I'll be deep diving into my own personal preconception protocol that worked amazingly well for me, so look out for that one. That one's going to be a little bit more specific, a little bit more anecdotal and tailored to my own personal experience.
I came to this information through reading a few full books and a lot of peer-reviewed research published in medical and scientific journals. On the website, I've linked all of these resources and all of the sources for this specific episode, as I always do.
The first two things I did when I started considering getting pregnant were, one, stop my hormonal birth control, and two, get into couples therapy. I spent almost two years tracking my cycle, going through insane hormonal acne, and getting to know what a period without birth control was like for the first time in almost 12 years.
I also got to experience, honestly, the crushing weight of considering what being a parent would be like. Understanding the permanence and the gravity of this decision, not only because of the responsibility of having a child, but the overwhelming fear of the changes that would happen to my body.
I remember one time me and Richard just got out of our couples therapy session. It was a virtual session. Thankfully, I was in the comfort of my own home, and I felt my heart kind of like racing in my chest.
I felt my hands getting clammy. I started feeling genuinely nauseous, and I broke down sobbing. I was just absolutely overwhelmed with so much fear. Fear of what would happen to my body, fear of what would happen to my personality.
I was still in grad school, which I literally just finished like two days ago, and I was petrified of how I would be able to juggle it all. When would I even get pregnant? What would that timeline look like?
How would it change me and Richard's relationship? Would my body ever look the same? Would I be able to recognize myself? All of these questions came rushing towards me, and I was honestly so, so scared.
I think that these just initial thoughts and fears are so common and so necessary. Like you need to just have a good freak out because becoming a parent, becoming pregnant, this is not something that we should take lightly because it is permanent.
It is forever, both having this new life and the changes that happen to your body and to your relationships. Pregnancy isn't health neutral. It is absolutely transformative, and understanding that early on was so scary, but I'm so, so happy that I did.
Before we dive in, as always, I want to remind you that I'm not a doctor or a medical professional. Everything I share in this episode is based on my own personal experience and research. Always check in with your doctor or a qualified healthcare provider before making any decisions about your health, pregnancy, or preconception journey.
Let's get into it. Okay, friends, let's start at the beginning. What is preconception health? I never even heard this term before I decided that I wanted to start trying to conceive. So preconception care.
It's defined as a set of interventions that aim to identify and modify. medical, behavioral, and social risks to the parent's health or pregnancy outcomes through prevention and management. So preconception health is just our health as people trying to conceive before becoming pregnant.
It improves pregnancy outcomes, reduces pregnancy complications, lowers the risk of birth defects, helps fetal development, helps improve chances of getting pregnant, and can even prevent maternal mortality.
And again, all of this information is linked with their sources on my website if you wanna dive into any of these things a little bit more. But as you can hear, preconception health is so, so important and honestly, not really given as much publicity and airtime as it really should be.
Preconception health significantly impacts your fertility, your pregnancy outcomes, and your baby's health. It influences the overall health of the mother and the father before conception. The health choices made before getting pregnant, these can have lasting effects on the developing fetus and the baby's future health, taking care of yourself to take care of your future baby.
Now, common misconceptions, okay? Common misconceptions, one, and this is something that my own mom has said to me, not that she still thinks this anymore. Now she's like, I don't even know how I got through my pregnancy without you, which is funny because I guess I was there.
I was just in the belly. But something that a lot of people think is, your body is made for this, and it's gonna be able to do it without any help necessary. Babes, we got science, we have information, we have research, we have tools.
Like going by that logic, we would never progress in any area of society ever, right? Are our body so strong, so resilient, so amazing, so incredible? Absolutely. But that doesn't mean we can't help ourselves, right?
Some other misconceptions. It only matters to be healthy while you're pregnant. Not true, you gotta be healthy before you get pregnant. Imagine these are the tools that you are using. These are the building blocks that you are using to even begin the journey of becoming pregnant.
So if you don't have good tools, if you don't have a good foundation, then what are we building with, right? Another misconception that it only applies to women, not true. My husband did all kinds of things that we believe had great outcomes because they were research-backed, and we had a great outcome for becoming pregnant.
So of course, I'm gonna share those with you in some upcoming episodes. Another misconception is that if we do these things, right, that's kind of on the flip side. If we do these things, then everything will go perfectly.
Unfortunately, that's not true. You can do all of these things and not have a perfect pregnancy. You can do none of these things and have things go smoothly. Like I said, my own mom was like, I didn't do anything.
I don't know how I had a natural birth with minimal interventions. And I didn't even know. I didn't prepare at all except for doing a couple of breathing classes, right? So these outcomes can be so different and so, so individual.
The research and the evidence, however, shows over and over again that you improve your chances of a good outcome by prioritizing your preconception health. For me personally, I knew that there's so much you cannot control when it comes to your pregnancy.
So I wanted to control everything that I could based on the research available. And that is what I'm bringing to you today. Let's talk about some basic stats on trying to conceive. You may already know these, but if you don't, I'm just going to give you a very quick overview.
overview so we can kind of situate ourself in like, what is the reality? 30% of people get pregnant within one month, within the first month of trying. 85% of people get pregnant within one year. And I've seen even higher statistics than that, but again, I have it linked where I got this specific one.
12 to 15% of couples are unable to conceive after one year. So again, that's an important statistic, 12 to 15%. It's not super uncommon. 12 to 15% is still, you know, a pretty significant number of couples that are unable to conceive after one year.
So again, don't feel alone if you're still, you know, on that journey. The chance of conceiving does decrease with age, while 35 has kind of been seen and repeated as that number over and over again, where we should start being concerned, right?
These are called geriatric pregnancies. In some situations, which is absolutely weird, but the most updated research does point to 37 now as an age where fertility more rapidly declines. So again, not necessarily thinking about 35 as that, you know, number to be afraid of.
We're thinking it's a little bit older now. It's closer to 37. That being said, of course, I don't want you to feel afraid of any number, right? This is between you and your doctor and your body, but me, I'm just a girl.
I'm just a girl, hey, in your headphones or on your screen right now. And I'm saying, I don't want you to be afraid of any number and hopefully some of the tools that I share in this episode and this season, they're just gonna help you get there to the outcome that you're looking for.
Now, something else I do have to point out in these statistics is that 10 to 20% of known pregnancies do end in miscarriage. They're incredibly common. And thankfully, they're being stigma. less and less and less in our society.
People are speaking about them so much more. But honestly, 10 to 20% is a lot. I've even seen some statistics that go as far as saying 25%. The issue is that one, a lot of these don't really go reported because they're very early on.
Two, some people don't even know that they're pregnant when they have a miscarriage. They may think that they just have their period. And so sometimes these go missed because they're not, again, reported.
So some of these aren't necessarily the absolute tragedy that a lot of miscarriages absolutely are. They might not even be known, right, by the person that is pregnant. They might think that they're just going about their regular cycle and that they didn't get pregnant this month.
So sometimes it does happen like that. Sometimes it happens very early on that, again, people don't really know that they're pregnant. And then of course, there are those miscarriages that happen later on in pregnancy.
within the first trimester, which is the most common time and beyond. Now, I don't have a specific episode on miscarriage this season. I touch on it throughout various episodes, including how semen quality impacts miscarriage, which is something really important that I'm gonna share with you guys in an upcoming episode.
While even thinking about miscarriage is so scary, I found it so much more empowering to learn about it head on, to learn about how common it was, to talk to my friends that have had miscarriages, to read those social media posts of people that I follow that have had miscarriages, to read the articles about it, because suddenly it wasn't so scary.
It was something that didn't have as much power over me because I had all of the information. I encourage this kind of attitude when learning about the journey of pregnancy. That's what led me here. That's what led me to making this season because I've dove into the information head on, and that's what I want for you.
That's what I hope that this season provides you. Information, because I found that when I'm armed with information, suddenly making decisions is a lot less scary. And when things happen to me, don't get it twisted.
I've cried, I've freaked out this pregnancy. It has happened, but having the information has made me feel so empowered. So that's my spiel on my stats around trying to conceive and why I think having the information is so crucial.
Now let's get into the key areas of preconception health. First thing we're gonna just touch on briefly is nutrition and supplementation. Now, nutrition, honestly, friend, everything you've been told your whole life is good for you, it's still gonna be good for you.
It's still gonna be good for you as you're on this preconception journey. I am not going to do a deep dive on nutrition because the truth is, it feels so obvious. Yes, there are things like, Omega-3s and getting plenty of fish that are low in mercury.
Those are the kinds of things that you're gonna read and see that people really encourage you to eat when you're trying to conceive and even while you're pregnant. But overall, if you are eating a nutrient-dense, balanced diet with less processed foods, you're on the right track, babe.
I didn't drive myself crazy about what I was eating. I tried to get the leafy greens. I tried to get the protein. I've tried to have a balanced diet. Those are really the exact same things that we wanna focus on when it comes to nutrition, that balanced diet.
Something else we wanna focus on, hydration. Your baby is living, right now, my son's living in just this amniotic fluid right now. It's like a little hot tub for him that he's just chilling in. Gotta get that fluid somewhere.
So preparing for that time by just remaining hydrated, key, okay? These are the things that are kind of... a little self-explanatory. I think you could have come up with this yourself. I feel like you know the basics here.
Now something that I want to dive in a little bit more is supplementation. Friend, get on those prenatals as soon as you start thinking about trying to conceive. I'm going to go deep, deep, deep dive into supplements in its own specific episode, why you want to take each supplement and what each one does, and I'm also going to go into it in my personal preconception protocol with the ones I decided to take and that were right for me.
What I do want to say is, again, the building blocks of this child is they are built of your body, right? They are built of your partner's body. That is literally the tools and the building blocks that are bringing them into this world.
You got to have the stores of the vitamins ready to party. You know what I'm saying? Now, I don't want to freak you out and I think this is a lot of the reason why a lot of medical websites say if you unexpectedly have become pregnant, start your prenatals as soon as possible.
Because the truth is, if you're already pregnant, it's, you know, we got to deal with the reality of what it is, of course. But if you're listening to this, I would imagine that you still have some time.
I'd imagine that you might not be pregnant today. You're on the journey. You're on the path. And so I want to tell you ASAP, get on those prenatals. Some things that are key, folic acid. You've heard about her.
You've seen her everywhere. She's like that number one girl when it comes to talking about supplements. Then we have choline. Ooh, I love choline. Iron, Omega-3s, and then a regular, regular prenatal multivitamin, okay?
I know that they carry a lot of these things at your local drug store. I would recommend if it's in your budget, if it's in your wheelhouse, if you have the access, potentially going for a more high quality vitamin.
That being said, if what makes sense for you, your budget, your lifestyle, your community that you live in, the access that you have to whatever, you know, whatever's around you, go get those drugstore vitamins.
Whatever works as long as you're taking something, especially folic acid, okay? Again, this episode, I don't want it to be two hours long. I'm going high level. So nutrient, dense, balanced diet. Those supplements that I mentioned, those vitamins getting them started, hydration, that's really it for nutrition and supplementation.
Lifestyle factors. The rule of thumb when it comes to exercise is to continue the same amount. and type of exercise, routine, and pregnancy as established before pregnancy. So me, I was training for a fight.
I'm an amateur boxer. I was boxing three times a week before pregnancy. I couldn't continue that because I was so tired my first trimester, but I still throw in a little boxing every now and then because I love boxing.
It makes me feel good. It makes me feel like myself. It makes me feel connected to my body in a way that no other sport or exercise really does. I have been a trainer for a really long time. So I'm still over here doing my barbell squats.
I'm still doing my deadlifts because those things feel good for me and my body. I have so many friends that are amazing runners. They're still running me. I feel like my back is breaking when I try to run because I was never that strong of a runner, let's be honest.
So the rule of thumb is to continue with the same amount and type of exercise in pregnancy as before becoming pregnant. So if you're on this preconception journey, just keep doing what you're doing and set the foundation for how you wanna be able to move your body in pregnancy, right?
You're not supposed to start anything new while you're pregnant. So if you're really hoping, while I'm pregnant, I really wanna use that opportunity to really focus on strength and building my muscles and really focusing on that hypertrophy and that muscle growth.
If you want that, you gotta start it before pregnancy. Of course, if you have any underlying health conditions and are being told by your doctor that you need to manage certain aspects of your lifestyle in a very specific way, you definitely wanna follow up and listen to your doctor.
That goes without saying. Stress and sleep. These are other things that come up a lot when you talk about preconception health, your stress levels and are you sleeping enough? Now, again, these are things that I feel are really, you probably know the answer to this.
It's the same information that we've been getting, babe. We gotta, we gotta sleep. You gotta sleep, you gotta prioritize your sleep, you gotta lower your stress levels, whether that's therapy, whether that's talk therapy, whether that's meditation, all of those things are still good and important here.
Now, we're gonna get a little bit more nitty gritty in this next section. I think you're gonna love it. We're talking about medical and health checkups. First thing we wanna talk about is just this quick checklist.
It actually comes from the book Fertility Rules by Leslie Schrock, one of my favorite books that I read before trying to conceive. And we're just gonna talk about your preconception appointment checklist.
So appointments for women. You wanna get a visit with your OBGYN, you wanna get a pap smear. Now, I didn't get that before trying to conceive. I actually didn't get it until my first appointment when I was already pregnant.
Getting a pap while you're pregnant, not great. Not the worst thing, not amazing. So you can get that ahead of time. You can get a breast exam ahead of time. Your baseline lab tests, your baseline blood work, and it is also optional to get genetic screening and STI testing.
Now, there are some specific demographics that your doctor may recommend. If you are, for example, this ethnic background, if you live in this kind of area, if you are exposed to X, Y, or Z in your job, your doctor may recommend that you get some genetic testing.
STI testing, of course, optional, always great to do. I did not get genetic testing before I became pregnant, but I know plenty of people that do. That is something that is very individual, but you will be getting a ton of genetic testing once you are pregnant.
So this is really only something that you should worry about if your doctor advises it, or if you've done your own research and you feel that there's a very specific reason why you should get genetic testing.
Now, appointments for men. Again, just a regular, degular, general checkup. Genetic screening and STI testing, again, is optional, and for those same reasons. A semen analysis, again, optional, and you may get some pushback from your doctor on this.
If you haven't been trying to conceive for at least six months, a lot of times your doctor will push back on this and say, you don't need that. You don't have to do any STI test. You don't have to do a semen analysis, but I would recommend it.
My husband did a semen analysis. It was great to have that information ahead of time, and it's not invasive. So why not? A lot of testing that is done on women is invasive. And so why don't we just rule out ahead of time before we even get into it that the semen quality is good, that we don't need to make any improvements there, or that we do.
Why not? Why not just get that going from the very beginning? So that's a personal recommendation. But again, You wanna talk to your doctor about that. You can also do a lot of these online, the semen analysis.
You can get like a test sent to your home. My husband just did it at his doctor's office, easy peasy, and his insurance covered it. So love that for us. Both partners want to do oral care, right? You wanna go to the dentist for X-rays and for general care.
You may be wondering why. Now, this was something that I definitely did and that my husband definitely did. Dental health matters during preconception because poor oral hygiene can impact fertility by contributing to inflammation in the body, which can disrupt hormonal balance and make it harder to conceive.
Additionally, bacteria from gum disease can enter the bloodstream and potentially affect pregnancy outcomes if conception occurs. So if you don't have any massive issues when it comes to your gentle hygiene, you may be fine, but I would recommend it.
My dentist also highly recommended it. I reached out, I said, hey girl. we're gonna start trying to conceive. I read in this book that I should get a teeth cleaning. What do you think? And she said, absolutely, come on in.
Another reason is because first trimester you're giving nauseous, you're giving fatigue, you're giving exhausted. And I would have hated getting my teeth cleaned in my first trimester because I was already so sick.
So, you know, teeth cleaning, very important. And lastly, your vaccine update. If there's specific vaccines that you wanna have, that your doctor recommends that you have, then this is the time to get them.
I will say I got a COVID booster while pregnant and it truly, for me, this isn't to scare you. I still recommend it. And I would do it again. I 100% would do it again to not be at risk for COVID or put my son at risk for COVID.
That is me, that is my decision. But I got my COVID vaccine while pregnant. I've never felt worse in my life. It was, I was so sick. I was so, so sick. And I wish I had gotten that booster before I got pregnant instead of in my first trimester.
So these are some things to think about. But other vaccines like chicken pox, which I need, learned that when I got my blood work. So I have to get that right after I give birth. But my chicken pox, rubella, hepatitis B, measles, mumps, these are some other vaccines to be thinking about.
Now again, from this book that I mentioned, Fertility Rules by Leslie Schrock, she gives this basic timeline. And it is a bit different than the timeline that I used that I'll talk about in next week's episode.
But this is the timeline that she gives. One year to six months before trying to conceive, schedule your medical appointments, assess the products in your home and swap out as needed. I'm gonna talk about that in just a moment, a little more.
If you're on medications that are not fertility friendly, make an appointment to find a substitute with your doctor, start to build sustainable activity and dietary habits. that you can stick to over the long term.
Again, back to what I was saying about lifestyle. Three months before trying to conceive, for women, start taking prenatal vitamins, double-check all personal care products. If you aren't getting a regular period, set an appointment with your OB-GYN or gynecologist, track your cycle and ovulation.
For men, take supplements if needed. Take a multivitamin. Check exposures to toxic chemicals. Stop cycling. So some things like cycling, running, putting a hot laptop on your lap, hot tubs. Some of these things are seen as decreasing semen count.
I would look into it a little bit more. My husband didn't really, he runs, but that wasn't really a huge concern for us. He doesn't cycle, and we just avoided hot tubs for three months before. So that's how we went about it.
Thank you. Because again, it can hurt your sperm production, but that is something that I would recommend looking into a little bit more if you feel like this is really directly applicable to you. And for both partners, eat healthy, find ways to relax, keep your cortisol levels down, talk about how you're feeling, stop any recreational drugs.
If you're actively trying to conceive, this is kind of her last point in the timeline, keep your alcohol levels low or stop altogether, ensure your lubricants are fertility friendly. That's something I didn't know about until again, I was trying to conceive, making sure I had fertility friendly lubricants.
Check in if things feel stressful or if you're struggling, asking for help doesn't make you weak. So again, all of that is from Leslie Schrock's book, Fertility Rules. I really, really enjoyed that book.
And this is her little timeline for preconception. Something else I want to dive into that she touched on a little bit in that section of the book is harmful exposures and habits to avoid. This is something that my husband was, he was over here watching every YouTube video about, reading everything about, he was really invested in this.
And I love that for me because he taught me so much. So of course, harmful exposures and habits to avoid, we can start with the obvious, smoking, alcohol and drug use should be avoided. Smoking, there's basically nothing ever that you're going to read that's going to say that it's a good idea to be smoking while trying to conceive or while pregnant.
You're never going to get that from anyone. No one's going to say that that's a good idea. When it comes to alcohol, there are some thoughts that unless you're actively pregnant, it's okay to continue drinking.
I stopped drinking, my husband stopped drinking for six months before trying to conceive. It has definitely some impacts on your egg quality and on your semen quality. I would really recommend it on a personal level.
But again, How does it impact your life? How much are you drinking? How important is it to you? What is your partner willing to do? And these are all things to consider in drug use. There's not really that much data or research on drug use during preconception and pregnancy.
And the reason is all of it has to be self-reported. You can't take a group of people and say, all right, you guys do drugs, you guys don't. Let's see how these babies come out, right? Because of that, there's not a ton of data.
So we can just base it on the information that we have on drug use when you're not pregnant, when you're not trying to conceive. And it doesn't seem like it's a great thing to be doing during this time.
Now, let's talk about environmental toxins, right? These are things like household products, plastics, pesticides. And this is really what Richard was going in on his research and teaching me all that I currently know.
So BPAs, BPS, BPFs, those are all found in plastic. You probably heard of BPAs. You've probably seen things like plastic Tupperware that says BPA free. You really wanna avoid plastic, microplastics and all the things.
So if you're using all plastic Tupperware that you have no idea you've had them for like 10 years, they're all beat up, you're microwaving your food in it, you're heating up that plastic. We don't wanna be doing that.
We don't wanna be doing that. Now things like phthalates. Now I had no idea how to pronounce this before. It's with a P, right? It's spelled with a P. So you may have seen this word before and just not known how to pronounce it.
I'm with you, I'm with you. Phthalates are found in things like products with fragrances, including cosmetics. So if you have products in your bathroom, if you have cosmetics, if you have makeup and an ingredient on that is fragrance, these are the kinds of things that we want to be weary of.
Parabens, heavy metals and pesticides, again, are things that we wanna be weary of. Also PFAS is found in nonstick cookware. Okay friend, let me be honest with you. I thought endocrine disrupting chemicals were like fake.
Like I was like, this is dumb. This is like hippy dippy. This is like not really that real. But the deeper I dove, the more research I did, the more I learned, the more I saw, oh, these things are real.
There's actually a very, very good amount of research on endocrine disrupting chemicals. Your endocrine system, this is your hormone system in your body and a bunch of these things that I mentioned, these are chemicals that ultimately impact your hormones.
That is why we don't want them around. For me, I just couldn't believe that there would be so many things in my home and that I use my everyday life that could be bad for me. That could be bad for my hormones and for my endocrine system.
I was like, I don't think that's real. The more research I did, the more I saw that it is incredibly real. That there is so much evidence and so much. much research that these endocrine disrupting chemicals can have a negative impact on our hormones and our fertility.
That being said, I highly encourage if you're suspicious, if you're skeptical like I was and like the person that I am, continue to deep dive into this because there's so many things that I've removed from my home and been like, wow, I'm so happy I did that.
So this is just a list of some things. These are household products, plastics, pesticides. So we have things found in plastics like BPAs, BPSs, BPFs. You might see on Tupperware, it might say BPA free.
The truth is glass Tupperware is always going to be a better bet. If you're using plastic to heat up your food, that plastic's heating up. That plastic might be seeping into the food that you're consuming.
So these are some ways that plastics are getting in, microplastics are getting in. into our bodies. We have phthalates, which are found in things like products with fragrance, including cosmetics. So if you look in your medicine cabinet, if you look at your cosmetics, if you look at your makeup, at your vanity, and you see an ingredient that says fragrance, that's something to consider.
That's something to be weary of. That's something to learn more about. Parabens, again, something that we see in our cosmetics all the time. BFASs, which are found in nonstick cookware. I feel like nonstick cookware has been all over my social as something to get rid of, and this is why.
Heavy metals, this is most often found in water, especially in urban environments. I live in Brooklyn, so it was a concern for me. And lastly, pesticides. Now, here are some switches that we could make, and I go a little bit deeper into some of these and my specific changes in next week's episode where I talk about my personal preconception protocol.
These are some just high level changes we could make. Storing food in glass or stainless steel instead of plastic. Drinking filtered water, so like I have a reverse osmosis filter. Choosing organic produce when possible.
Avoiding synthetic fragrance in candles, air fresheners, and beauty products. And switching to natural cleaning products. For me personally, we use filtered water with vinegar in one glass bottle and filtered water with hydrogen peroxide in another.
And then we make those scented using essential oils. I like eucalyptus and lemon, but that's just your girl. The world is your oyster when it comes to essential oils. You can make it smell however you like.
And lastly, just managing caffeine. If you're drinking more than two large cups of coffee every single day, then it's something that we should really be thinking about, marinating on, chatting about, seeing if there are some alternatives.
If you're drinking less coffee than that, because that's the way we do it. or soda, right, a lot of soda drinkers in the world. I'm not one of them because it gives me acid reflux since I was like 15.
So I can't enjoy a nice little soda. I can't be a Diet Coke girl because it's gonna burn my esophagus. So that being said, I'm not a soda drinker. It's not because I don't think it's delicious. It's because it doesn't make me feel good.
But that being said, coffee is the most likely culprit for most of us. And if you're drinking less than two large cups of day, if you're drinking just like a morning coffee, not really something that you need to be super concerned about.
But if you're drinking more than 200 milligrams a day while pregnant, that is an issue. So it's something to start thinking about even. before. Let's talk about understanding your cycle and fertility.
Now, if I could stress one thing to you, it would be to understand your cycle and track it for as long as you can. I cannot stress this enough. Many resources will say, as long as you're having regular unprotected sex, you're gonna get pregnant eventually.
Yeah, duh. Like, obviously. Like, that's not really that helpful. I don't think that's why we go to like a self-help pregnancy book is for them to tell us, as long as you're having sex, you'll get pregnant at some point.
Like, babe, I could have figured that one out on my own. We have what? Science. And because of that, we have so much more information on when we can actually become pregnant. And this is information that a lot of us do not know, did not grow up with.
I can definitely say it's not something I ever learned in my life. It is not something that I was ever taught. I was never really taught to be curious about my period and my cycle. I just knew once a month, I get it, don't really like it, the end.
So, this is something that I cannot stress enough. Now, unless you have a very irregular cycle, which you might not know again unless you're tracking it, but unless you have a very irregular cycle, a lot of tools and resources are out there to really help you know when is the best time to try and conceive.
So, ovulation is when your ovary... ovulation is when your ovary releases an egg. This happens once per cycle, about midway through your menstrual cycle. Then the egg travels down your fallopian tube where it can meet sperm for fertilization.
So, ovulation, it's just when your ovaries release eggs. Now, you can only get pregnant when sperm is present during or just before ovulation. Sperm can live in the body for five days, but the egg can only survive for 12 to 24 hours after ovulation.
So, again, the goal is to have the sperm meet the egg during or just before ovulation. And again, tracking is going to really help you know exactly when that window is. Your fertile window is about five to six days per cycle and it ends on the day of ovulation because again, remember that the egg can only survive for 12 to 24 hours.
So your fertile window will end on the day of ovulation because by that point the egg can't survive anymore. I really recommend that you download an app to help you with this. Yes, you can go old school, you can use a calendar and you know what, babe?
If you do that, you're better than me. You're better than me because honestly, I still feel confused. I've read it. I've read it. I've researched it. I've looked at graphs. I've looked at charts. I still am like, wait, what?
When am I supposed to be? When am I ovulating? So I love. my app. This is, again, why technology. She's our friend. She's our friend. Whatever method you use, I highly recommend that you use something to track your cycle.
Now, the male partner's role in preconception health. I have a TikTok with over one million views right now, sitting at one million views but honestly getting more every single day about semen quality and what men can do for their preconception health.
I filmed it on a whim. I'm literally laying on my couch, like in my blanket, just sharing my thoughts and apparently this is what the people really want to know. So there is going to be an episode that is specifically on this, but I'm just going to give you a little overview.
Preconception health isn't just about the person that carries the baby. It's just as important for men. Sperm health plays a huge role in fertility, pregnancy outcomes, and even the long-term health of the baby.
Poor semen quality, including low sperm count, poor motility, and DNA damage can make conception harder and increase the risk of miscarriage. Miscarriage is very much linked to semen quality and I think that's something that really needs to be acknowledged and discussed because often it is the woman in the relationship that bears so much of the of the heartache and the shame when it comes to miscarriage.
Is it something that anyone should be ashamed of? Absolutely not. No person, either partner, should feel any sort of shame or embarrassment or guilt when it comes to something like the tragedy of miscarriage.
That being said, it is not something that is only on the female partner's shoulders. Male semen quality, the male partner, has just as much if not more impact on risk of miscarriage and again I'll talk to that with more specificity in my episode that's all about the male partner's role and preconception.
The good news is that sperm regenerates every 60 to 90 days. So meaning small changes can have a big impact. 60 to 90 days, babe, if you can't stop drinking, stop going in the hot tub, take your vitamins, eat well, be a good person for 60 to 90 days, then I think we have a problem.
Maybe this isn't the partner for you. You know what I mean? Let's be serious about it. So improving diet, adding in supplements, avoiding heat, avoiding toxins, cutting out alcohol and drugs are some of the top recommendations.
Last thing I'm going to leave you with is talking about emotional and mental preparation during preconception. Have a plan for your own mental and emotional health and for the overall wellness of your relationship if you're trying to conceive with a partner.
Well, this is very individual. Some recommendations include tackling mental health issues you and your partner have had and prioritizing having a solid support system. Mental health has always been extremely personal for each and every individual.
It's a very unique thing. Me, I've been going to therapy for 10 years on and off. I started going when my parents got divorced. I took a little bit of time off because honestly therapy was expensive.
I made my way back. I left always with the same therapist who is the absolute best, but having that support system has been so important to me. I also have great friends and great family. I'm so close with my mom.
Because of these things, I have been able to build my mental health support system, care team, and resources in a way that I felt really prepared on a personal level to enter this chapter of my life.
That being said, me and we've also gone to couples therapy. We have an extremely honest relationship. We talk very in depth about all of these things. And because of that, again, I felt very secure in terms of my partner.
For me, arming myself with knowledge, getting a doula, choosing a care team I believe in, including my OBGYN, taking time to prepare myself through my preconception journey, doing a lot of these things that I've discussed today, going to therapy, sharing my biggest and greatest fears with my family and with my partner, and being open with my concerns, all those things that really helped me feel ready for this process.
And I really encourage that you face them head on. Say out loud to the person that you are going to be trying to conceive with everything that you're afraid of, everything that you're worried about. I spoke to my husband down to things like, I'm afraid that you're going to be working from home when the baby is born, and you're going to think that you can prioritize taking care of our family and being a supportive person.
to partner to me but you're going to end up being on your laptop frustrated about what's going on with work and I'm going to be walking on eggshells afraid to ask you for help. This is a fear of mine.
What do we do? Things as specific as that are so necessary to discuss and ultimately he said you have to trust me. I promise you that's not going to be the case. These are the things that I plan on doing to ensure that I can be present during that postpartum period for you.
X, Y, and Z is what our plan is going to be. Having that conversation before you're in that moment is so so key and we did that very same thing before we became, before we started trying to conceive.
I was afraid what if it takes a really long time? What if we have a miscarriage? What if this? What if that? We talked about those things. You don't need to surprise yourself in the moment with these really scary topics because you wanted to avoid talking about them.
Once you talk about them, as I said earlier, suddenly they're not so scary. Suddenly they have a lot less power over you. I definitely think, and I wrote a whole paragraph in my notes about this because I gotta leave you with this, I definitely think it's crucial to be mindful of who you're planning to have a baby with.
A lot of this episode I spoke in terms of male-female relationships, and that's because I think a lot of times the resources that are out there are tailored to male-female relationships when we're talking about preconception health because it's going to be a little bit different if you're doing something like a donor, if you're doing a different method that I am not necessarily specifically intricately familiar with.
I went on my preconception journey with my husband, and so I'm speaking about it from my experience with the research that I did and the anecdotal evidence that I have based on my personal life. That being said, there's obviously so many different ways that parenting and partnership can look.
No matter what configuration of a partnership you are having, if you're doing it even on your own and you're doing it as a solo parent, no matter what, it is so crucial to be mindful of the community that is around you.
Now, if you are doing this with a male partner and you're a female listening to this episode, if your partner won't stop drinking to improve their semen quality, if he won't support you making lifestyle changes, then he's probably not going to be the partner that you want or that you need.
My husband has been so crucial during this journey for me. He has been my number one support system, my number one cheerleader. He has been at the appointments with me with my doula, watching my parenting classes, talking about how he will advocate for me at the hospital.
He has been there for me so, so. so much as he should be because this is a partnership. If he wasn't willing to put in the work before the baby was even here, I would not have felt super confident he was gonna be willing to put in the work at this stage in our relationship, our life, or in the future when we do have a son.
So I just wanna get on my little soapbox and say, be careful, be mindful, be thoughtful of who you are planning on going on this journey with because that person is not going to change suddenly when you become pregnant.
They're gonna be the same person that they've been before. Don't be disappointed. Just be aware of what you're doing and go into it eyes wide open. Okay, friend, thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of On the Outside.
It is the first episode of our second set. where again, I'm talking all about my pregnancy journey. On next week's episode, I'll be discussing my personal preconception protocol in depth with step-by-step guidance and specific product recommendations.
You can follow me everywhere @taylorraeroman. As always, a full transcription of the episode along with citations can be found on my website. All of those links are available in the show notes.
See you out there.
REFERENCES
Schrock, Leslie. Fertility Rules. New York: Avery, 2023.
Oster, Emily. Expecting Better. New York: Penguin Books, 2013.
Twenge, Jean M. The Impatient Woman’s Guide to Getting Pregnant. New York: Atria Books, 2012.
New York State Department of Health. 2023. "Prenatal Care in New York State." New York State Department of Health. Accessed March 27, 2025. https://www.health.ny.gov/publications/2026/.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). 2006. "Use of Contraception and Use of Family Planning Services in the United States: 1982–2002." Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report 55 (RR06): 1–36. Accessed March 27, 2025. https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/rr5506a1.htm.
University of Pittsburgh Medical Center (UPMC). 2023. "How Long Does It Take to Get Pregnant?" UPMC HealthBeat. Accessed March 27, 2025. https://share.upmc.com/2023/06/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-pregnant/.
Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD). 2023. "How Common Is Infertility?" National Institutes of Health. Accessed March 27, 2025. https://www.nichd.nih.gov/health/topics/infertility/conditioninfo/common.
Jeffcoat, M. K., J. Geurs, M. Reddy, R. Cliver, C. Salinas, and S. L. Goldenberg. 2006. "Periodontal Infection and Preterm Birth: Results of a Prospective Study." Journal of the American Dental Association 137 (7): 875–880. Accessed March 27, 2025. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16816998/.
Disclaimer: The information shared on On the Outside is for informational and educational purposes only. I am not a doctor, medical professional, or licensed healthcare provider. The content of this podcast is based on my personal experiences and research, but it should not be taken as medical advice. Always consult with your doctor or a qualified healthcare professional before making any decisions related to your pregnancy, health, or well-being. Every pregnancy is unique, and what works for one person may not be right for another.
